Where Does Meaning Live?

Train Dreams

Train Dreams on Netflix, written by Denis Johnson, is one of those films that makes you feel the story in your gut and reflect on what defines meaning and connection. Our earliest experience of family grounds us. But what happens when that foundation is taken away? Where does meaning live when the thing we attached it to is gone?

When you experience an early void in life—a loss of identity that leads to a feeling of abandonment—you can either become consumed by it or let curiosity guide you forward. In Train Dreams, we watch Robert Granier move from what feels like a directionless, purposeless life to a moment when meaning enters through Gladys.

When the story begins, we learn that Robert was sent to Idaho at age 6 or 7. He had lost his parents and did not even know his birthday. When your sense of self and belonging is fractured, the weight of that void can blur your entire experience of life. One of Robert’s earliest memories is witnessing the mass deportation of a hundred Chinese families. “He was baffled by the casualness of the violence.”

This theme of temporary belonging resonates today, as we witness systems that tear families apart with little regard for the lasting impact on identity, belonging, and humanity's future. When someone’s sense of grounding is stripped away, we all suffer. We feel that pain. Our fear is stirred. What if something happens to someone we love? How do we move forward?

Robert is forced to confront this fear as a child. His sense of self begins to awaken when he meets Gladys. Together, they create meaning by building a life with a home by a stream in the wilderness and, eventually, a family. For Robert, this reawakens a sense of what life might have been before the abandonment. He experiences something once out of reach—family. But will it be temporary, too?

Robert works in logging. His jobs take him far from home. He helps build a bridge in Spokane. While on the job, a group of men seizes one of the men Robert is working with. Robert asks what the man has done. He tries to intervene, but then watches as they throw the man off the bridge. What was Robert’s intention in that moment? We feel his guilt over this moment, as the man's vision visits him at times, haunting him as he moves through life.

Robert returns home between jobs, finding comfort in his family. He plays with his daughter and his new baby, and a sense of grounding returns. Yet he remains troubled by nightmares about what happened to the man on the bridge. He asks Gladys whether their daughter knows he is her father, and Gladys replies, “Of course she does.” The question clearly stems from Robert’s earlier wound of abandonment. Even in moments of security, he struggles to trust that it will last.

While on a job, Robert forms a connection with a man named Arn. Early in their friendship, Robert asks Arn whether the bad things people do follow them throughout their lives. This question concerns Robert's recurring visions of the man who went over the bridge. Arn says he doesn’t know. Robert then asks Arn whether he has family somewhere, and Arn replies, “My family is everywhere there’s a smiling face.”

Upon returning home, Robert contemplates the meaning of Arn’s words about family, only to find that a devastating fire has destroyed everything that gave his life meaning. His connection to permanence through family and a sense of belonging remains unfulfilled. The foundation beneath him loosens, and the search for meaning and connection continues.

Watching this made me think of a useful tool for writers to consider: the moment when who I am meets who I was. If you can capture your audience at this pivotal point in a story, they become invested in whether the person someone is now can release the negative narrative of who they were and find meaning in who they become. Do they transform?

By the end, we feel Robert come to recognize all the life moments that made him feel connected. When we see the value of family in every smile, we sense the depth of the moment.

This beautiful story stayed with me because it reveals that we are always redefining who we are and how we experience life, even as we search for deeper meaning beneath it all.