In Between

A Time to Redirect

Our turning points in life allow us to redirect. The obstacle so many of us face is learning to redefine our path. I recall a major turning point in my life when my career as a studio executive ended after fifteen years with two sister companies. There was a heated conversation. I made a choice. I knew it could have consequences. I will never forget the words from my boss at the time: “Your contract comes up in December. We are not going to renew it.” I was overseeing five series. The shows I covered were performing well. I had never received a warning. Yet, in that moment, when I had an opportunity to defend myself, I let my pride enter. I did not say what was going on in my mind. I felt unseen. If he couldn’t see my value, I wasn’t meant to be there. I knew that the choice I made when a boundary was crossed could lead to this outcome. My world was turning upside down.

I was a Vice President of Current Programming. It took me thirteen years to reach that goal. I believed my destiny was to run a studio. In a flash, that trajectory dissolved. My “in between” time was lurking, waiting to discover how to redefine. Are you going through an “in between” time in your life? During these periods, we aren’t always clear about what’s next. We have to learn to find solace in what is present and fulfillment in the process of creating what can be. These life moments often follow trauma, loss, or a setback. We aren’t going down the path we thought we were—something interrupted our flow. We are forced to start a new chapter. It is time to blaze a new path. We have to heal so we can move through these times into something new. Writing is a key to this process. It brings clarity, and story is a component of our healing. During this time, I read the book Redirect: Changing the Stories We Live By by Timothy D. Wilson. It spoke to me.

In Redirect, Wilson uses story to help people change. In Redirect, Wilson also delves into the health benefits of writing after trauma. Wilson writes, “What if we haven’t succeeded in making a traumatic event seem understandable and predictable? Are there story-editing approaches that we can use in our everyday lives to hasten this process? Indeed there are.” He suggests, “...people wait to have some distance from the problem, then write about it for at least fifteen minutes on each of three or four consecutive days... This is a simple yet powerful way of making sense of confusing, upsetting episodes in our lives, giving us some closure and allowing us to move on.” Wilson goes on to link gaining distance from the event with understanding the why. With the why, Wilson suggests taking an alternate approach. He writes, “Instead of immersing yourself in the original experience, you take a step back and watch it unfold from the perspective of a neutral observer. Then you focus on why you feel the way you do, rather than on the feelings themselves.” 

I LOVE the idea of stepping back and watching what happened to you unfold from the perspective of a neutral observer. I have always believed that writing can heal trauma. By stepping back from our story, we can find meaning in the why and new ground to move forward. This is what happened for me when I was writing my book, Change Your Story, Change Your Life. In it, I explore the why behind losing my job. I looked closely at my interpretation of the disagreement that led to the end of my job and how it made me feel. Then I stepped back, separated my feelings, and reconstructed it to see why it actually happened. In my book, I write, “I was a Vice President. I had hit a pinnacle. I only had a few more steps to go to attain my ultimate dream, but I was beginning to question what I wanted. The loss of momentum caused me to doubt the path I was on. In the race to the top, I was losing a part of myself. Being a high-level studio executive didn’t seem to fit the picture I had imagined.”

Cut to 18 years later. I started my own company, Jen Grisanti Inc., a story consulting firm. I wrote three books. I defined a new direction by taking my strengths and what I loved about my job, story development, and turning them into a business so I could wake up every day doing what I love. By redirecting my momentum, I've helped writers sell 132 scripts. My “in between” allowed me to take a breath, redirect, and continue in a trajectory that better aligned with who I am.

The “in between” time my writers face has many origins. In the current climate, with the ever-changing entertainment industry and the constraints it’s under, many writers are in a period of transition. I am finding that my writers who are ready to draw on their emotional truth in their turning points and “all is lost” moments are the ones reaching their desired outcomes. These writers are doing the work to process their pain. In doing so, they reach pinnacles in their stories where we can see the characters and understand their transformations because of what we feel. I watch it happen. I see the value of doing the work to process the “in between” into forward momentum.

I know that by understanding our why behind our stories, we can heal. So, for the writers that didn’t attain your goal with your writing this year, look at the why. Separate it from how it made you feel so you can see the why more clearly. Reconstruct the why behind what happened. Then, take action to discover a new plan of action that will lead you toward your future success. By doing this, we can learn to tell our stories from a stronger place, a place from which we can move forward rather than dwelling in the past. In fiction, the why is the emotion that fuels the protagonist forward toward their goal. By better understanding our why behind the events in our lives, we can redirect our story to find greater meaning and purpose. This growth will help us move through our “in between” times and toward our next success.